"Moved Colder", 2017
Faxed documents, 12 pages, toner ink on paper
Installation view, "Run-off, exhaust, and other pressures,"
Big Medium, Austin, TX,
January 20 - February 18, 2017,
curated by Bennet Schlesinger
to shape a body i’d take into my waking dreams;
build a consciousness grinning in the shadow of fear and marching time;
initiate myself into the realm of those i worshipped
it would be too strong a sentiment to say i believed in these things;
the gist was they moved me, strung me from one point to another
we would meet around 2 pm, and somehow it would already be dark.
i'd take my time finding his place and rehearse jokes about its distance from any known neighborhood.
"x isolates himself on purpose. he likes to have problems."
which is how i felt about all of them. they acted like they were so abnormal.
the walls of the rooms were covered in collages of cut-up magazines, glitter paint, xmas lights,
mutilated barbie dolls in weird shoebox coffins festooned with faux fur.
there was something i needed that couldn’t wait,
something i wanted to gather up as fast as possible before i lost sight of it
to inhabit my attuned and stimulated state, make it stretch out beyond a passing mood
the place where we cracked and drifted, bumped and passed by, before time swept in
as it started getting colder that first fall, tripping moved to center stage in our activities.
four or five of us rolling around the huge apartment like kittens, loud songs on repeat, code words,
then dawn and elaborate group breakfasts after full sleeps. something took place very rapidly there.
it became pretty obvious that i didn't trust anyone: maybe always true, but now i wore it plainly.